Obstructing beliefs: how do I free myself from them in 7 steps?
You may have heard of them before: limiting beliefs. We all have them: those unhelpful, limited and negative thoughts. We also encounter them in the counseling in our programs with clients. Limiting beliefs are negative views about yourself and/or the world that you unconsciously and/or consciously carry into your life. Your beliefs have a strong influence on your behavior. They guide your life and can motivate you but, in the case of limiting beliefs, can also demotivate you. In other words, they can either give you strength in life or hinder you. But how do you free yourself from them? By paying attention to this during coaching, you can make enormous strides together in the search for other work.
You too can actively engage in this!
7 steps to free yourself from your limiting beliefs
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Examine what limiting beliefs you have (awareness)
Fortunately, we as humans have mega computers (read: our brains) and are able to train ourselves to free ourselves from those limiting beliefs. First, we need to examine which limiting beliefs we regularly suffer from. Below is a list of common limiting beliefs:
- I'm way too old for that;
- I have to be perfect;
- Nobody wants me;
- I dare not take any risks;
- I am not good enough, others are much better;
- I never succeed anyway;
- I shouldn't be there;
- I am unimportant;
- Nobody loves me;
- I am (too) ugly, too fat or too thin;
- I have to control everything;
- Life is tough and not fun;
- Success is not for me;
- I can't deal with conflict;
- I must not fail.
2. Investigate in what situations this affects you
Write down for yourself in what situations you suffer from these limiting beliefs and what you worry yourself about then. You may start describing this very factually here.
For example: When I search the Internet for a new job in which I have no experience or training yet.
3. Examine what feelings and behaviors it evokes in you
For each situation, write down what feeling it gives you. And in addition, what behavior it evokes in you.
For example, I then feel insecure and uncomfortable. I would prefer not to apply for a job and stay within my comfort zone at my current job. I don't apply anyway.
4. Examine your thoughts in that situation
Write down for yourself what thoughts play a role in that situation (that are responsible for your feelings and behavior). Also ask yourself if these thoughts are really true. Are they 100% true?
5. Describe what you do want (desired behavior).
What do you want to feel and therefore do differently in these situations? Describe how you behave in this (desired) situation.
Example: Self-assured and confident in myself that with my enthusiasm and will to develop myself there is definitely an opportunity for me. I will keep applying until I find something.
6. Change your limiting beliefs and thoughts
Replace your limiting thoughts with desirable thoughts with positive wording. For example: I have no concrete experience in the profession yet but I can learn it. In addition, I found out during my career/re-integration process that this work suits my qualities and skills. Therefore, there will be a suitable employer for me in the job market.
7. Practice, practice, practice!
Above all, start practicing with the new thoughts! Be aware in the situations when the limiting beliefs come up again and then switch to your new thought you established in the previous steps. Is it not working? Then go back to step 4. It takes practice and discipline. Practice makes perfect and repeat a new pattern. Repeat for at least 3 weeks.
You can do more than you think
When those limiting beliefs are gone, you see that you are capable of much more and that you gain the self-confidence to do, to be able to do or to try something. Would you like to know what you are capable of and how you can put your ambitions and qualities to good use? Then contact us for more information about Jobcoaching or tell your employer and ask about the possibilities.
